Saturday, October 24, 2009

Porculus Illinois

So... how's that $787 stimulus spending bill going?  It's all about jobs, jobs, jobs, right?

According to the federal government's official site for all numbers Porculus,, as of October 10, 2009, Uncle Sam has created a staggering... 30,383 new jobs across the fruited plain.  We have 138 million workers in the US and 15 million of them are out of work yet the full-faith-and-credit of the US government could only create 30,383 new jobs.  That's a city about the size of Woodridge, IL.  Blink and you miss it.

And it gets worse.

Illinois has the 13th highest unemployment rate in the nation at 10.55%, yet Porculus only generated 287 new jobs in Illinois.  That's about 1% of the population of Woodridge.  Illinois ranked only 30th on the list of states/territories with new job growth.

Although President Obama learned the finer points of political threats and intimidation during his time in Illinois, he needs a remedial course in Chicago style patronage.  But what should we expect from a man who couldn't even put in the fix on the Olympic games?  "We don't want nobody that nobody sent."  Unless there's a job attached!

So where did this cornucopia of work get poured out?  In blue states mostly.  Two out of every three new jobs was created in a state that went for Obama in the 2008 election.  Honestly, that seems only fair.  To the victor go the spoils, right?  It's certainly the Chicago Way.  And let's face it, most of the states went for Barry this last time so two-out-of-three seems about right.

Only how come when blue states are getting 2/3rds of the jobs, Illinois -- the truest of blue states -- ranks only 30?  For crying out loud, this is the President's adopted, home state -- maybe not the one he was born in because I mean, really, who knows where that was, but he lived here long enough to get hooked up with Rezko after all -- so you'd think we could do better than 30th place, right?  Rahm, you gotta make sure the homie's down wit us!

OK, so which of those bad boy blue states got the bump?  The ones that needed it the least, of course.  One third of the states have unemployment rates above the national average.  But only one third of that one third ended up in the top 10 gainers list.

Colorado took the gold with 4,695 new jobs in a state with only 7.02% unemployment.  Rahm, on second thought, send our boy to the Rockies for that remedial patronage class.

Perhaps sweetest of all is the cost to the taxpayer of generating these jobs.  This ones a little tricky to calculate because the government doesn't match dollars with jobs very accurately.  They categorize expense as either a grant, contract, or loan.  Let's assume only the contracts created jobs.  I don't know if that's accurate or not, but it will give the lowest cost per job if we do it that way.

$539,261 was spent to create each new Porculus job.  I mean it has to be that number, because if we throw in all the costs, it comes to $6,561,208 spent for each job created.  Even government can't spend 100 times more than it costs to create a job, can it?

So let's recap.  The federal government is creating too few jobs, that cost too much to create, in places that don't need them the most.  Yup, that sounds like your tax dollars at work!

So whatdaya say we just rollover and let them run healthcare too.  How bad can it be?

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